


Dr34m Du5t

by Code520



Category: Chinese Actor RPF, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) RPF
Genre: BJYX | Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan is Real, Falling In Love, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:26:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24625450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Code520/pseuds/Code520
Summary: If he wakes up from a dream, will his feelings remain?
Relationships: Wang Yi Bo & Xiao Zhan, Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan
Kudos: 38





	Dr34m Du5t

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any grammar mistake, English is not my mother tongue.

Now all has ended. Now there's nothing else to do. Now I won't go back to that place. Now I won't dress again as that character who was in love with yours. Now I won't see you everyday again. Now that I realize it has really ended and all what's left is the memories in my head. Now I understand how precious that time was and how I took it for granted some days. Now that I see how every small detail was all I needed to smile. Now that I see it was you who made me feel all those feelings inside my heart and not the character I was playing as. Now that I realize how I lied to myself for so long. Now it's when I'm alone in this room, with a pencil on my hand and an empty paper over the table. Now it's when my hand only moves to draw those eyes that were always glancing at me. That smile that was always smiling at me. Those round cheeks, small nose or messy hair I didn’t know I could love that much.

Now it's when all what's in my head is you. All what I can think about is you. All what I can remember is moments beside you. All I can be happy about is related to you. How is this even possible, I think. How can I feel like this, I wonder. How am I this in love with you, I realize. All is so confusing. Inside me, only doubts and questions wander in the long path called consciousness. Nothing is clear, nothing brings me the answer, nothing is willing to help me. And your face is always clearer and clearer in my mind. Because after all, everything I looked at during four months was you. All I could think about was you.

Lying to myself. Thinking I was getting too much in the character, being aware I was completely absorbed by his thoughts, his feelings, his happiness and frustration. I was sure it was him who was loving you. Then, now how can these feelings remain inside of my heart? How can they be so pure? How can they make me love every single detail about you?

I don't want to wake up from that dream. I refuse to wake up. Because if I do, will they remain with me? Will you stay with me? This perfect dream where everything was endless between us. Where we could be us and look at each other without worrying about anything else. Will that remain? Will I be able to gaze at your eyes endlessly? Will you glance at me as you did again? Because I've discovered it's a need in me. All your attention, all your glances, all your words, all your games, all our moments together. That's something I need to remember. I need them to be engraved in my memories. But what if they get blurred? Will you help me to create new ones so I will never forget how your eyes shine with me or how your lips smile if it's because of me? Will you bring all of that back to me? Will you? Because I need it.

I need to know even if I wake up from this dream, you will still stay beside me, you will help me to remember why I feel like this every time I'm with you. I need you to remind me why I go crazy if our hands collide, why I can't stop this happiness if it's provoked by you. Why I don't care anything else as long as you love me back.

Because I'm scared.

What if nothing is the same? What is it doesn’t work? What if in the end this isn't love, this isn’t OUR love, but theirs? What if I fall for you? I never knew love could be this scary until I met you. Until my heart was clenched in pain if you left. Until my mind couldn’t sleep in the nights knowing you were far away. Until the only thing my hands wanted to touch was you. Until my breath was taken away when you smiled at me. Until my anger grew up if I saw you with someone else.

Sometimes I think I will become crazy just for the simple thought you're not mine. Because now that I've learned how life is beside you, I don't want to return to the past, to how I was without you. I can, but I don't want to. I refuse to let you go. To end this chapter of my life knowing I will end any chance to remain by your side too. If this dream must end, I will create another one where only you and I exist. The real you and I.

Because what you said to me that day is still resouning in my head.

_Every line I say as Lan Wangji carries the meaning that exists in my own heart._

And while I have this, while you feel like this, I shouldn’t care about anything else.

Maybe next time I will wake up from a dream, all I will find is you beside me.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this one, I may write wyb's part too!


End file.
